As I sit here writing this note, I am recovering from a strained abdominal muscle. The source of that strain: Car Talk. My strained ab has come as a result of listening to the show. The heavy laughing that comes from the show has caused me to strain my abdominal. Click and Clack, stop being so funny!!!!!

Kyle Orton credited his neckbeard with helping him overcome the cold and windy elements in Chicago on Sunday.

“Certainly with the wind, it was cold, but I have a beard so that helps out a little bit. It’s kind of warm in this area,” Orton said.

As a fellow neckbeard bearer, I must say, it’s true.

http://uic.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=2230619623&topic=3012

Fuck all the haters. I said it from the get-go, that the Bears would suck and I was accused of not being a true fan. What now? Those who see the truth before the others are hailed as geniuses when everyone realizes the truth once it’s too late

So with the recent news of the Detroit Tigers acquiring Miguel Cabrera AND the D-Train, Dontrelle Willis from the Florida Marlins, and the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim signing Torii Hunter in free agency, the White Sox have laid another major dud and continue to show they are a one-and-done deal. What’s going on here on the South Side?

Just 2 years ago they won a World Series title (Though I must say, that was not legit either, as the Sox only made the playoffs because Buerhle tried to kill Pronk. That’s my story and I’m sticking with it.) and now they are bumbling around, coming off a 90-loss season.

Since the White Sox like to pick apart the flip-flops of Jay Mariotti, I think it’s time to return the favor, and pick out their flip-flops:

Didn’t Kenny Williams say after the Sox won the 2005 World Series that they wanted to win “two or three world championships”, reduce the Cubs to second status and take over the town and that you can’t win 2008 in 2006?

Then how about at the trade deadline in 2006 when they could have gotten Alfonso Soriano for Brandon McCarthy? I recall them saying that McCarthy was too big a part of their future, yet while the White Sox were stumbling and bumbling following Ozzie calling Jay Mariotti a fag, they refused to put McCarthy in the rotation while it was stinking up the joint. And then what did they do that off-season? They traded him to the Texas Rangers for scrubs.

Then how about when they signed Mark Buerhle and Jermaine Dye to contract extensions during 2007? Didn’t Kenny say that the Sox had a grand plan this off-season that included Cabrera and Hunter?

And then how about after this season: “Last year did not sit well with any of us. We’ll be damned if we’re going to go through that again. We will aggressively pursue a championship. We’re trying to win the 2008 championship. We were embarrassed last year.”

If by aggressively pursuing a title you mean re-signing a Dominican murderer, trading one of your best arms for the O-Cab and signing Scott Linebrink in free agency, okay Kenny. What happened to this Spiderman like video of Torii Hunter climbing the Chicago skyline and telling the whole world how badly you wanted him? What happened was the White Sox lowballed him.

And how about Miguel Cabrera, Ozzie’s “4th son.” Wasn’t Kenny Williams bragging about how it was a done deal and all that was left was to dot the i’s and cross the t’s? And what about that Venezuelan Motherfucking fag on his 4th son who he says has lost 30 pounds: “I think he is going to bring more leadership to the ballclub.” He said that in the present tense too. What’s going on here? They were just doing their best Cubs impression during the MacFAIL era: Say they’re after someone to keep PR, but not really interested in them.

And how about these remarks following the Tigers getting Cabrera and Willis: “All this has done is put the Tigers in a better position to contend with us. We certainly are not going to shy away from the challenge, especially knowing that no matter what your roster looks like on paper, it takes well-rounded teams in major-league baseball to compete for a championship.” Okay Ken. You are right that it takes a well-rounded team to compete and with this deal, the Tigers are pretty well-rounded. They have a true modern-day version of a Murderer’s Row lineup, with Granderson, Polanco, Sheffield, Ordonez, Cabrera, Rentaria, Pudge, Guillen, Inge, and the Frenchman Jacque Jones. They have kick-ass rotation with Bonderman, Verlander, Willis, and Kenny Rodgers. They got Todd Jones closing out games for them, and they will get Zumaya back at mid-season.

You think the White Sox are well rounded? LMAO!! Who do they have in their rotation other than Buerhle? They are kidding themselves if they think they can win with a bunch of kids. Ask the Cubs how that turned out. And what about the lineup? I thought they wanted to add speed and some guys who could put the ball in play? Their Thome-Konerko-Dye-Crede middle of the lineup is old, and can do nothing but swing for the fences.

At the rate Ozzie and Kenny are going, they’re the leading candidates to do a remake of Abbott and Costello. The Blizzard of Oz said the Sox were interested in Andruw Jones. Very interesting. His agent turns out to be Jerry Reinsdorf’s best friend, Scott Boras. The White Sox hate him so much that it is practically the organizations policy not to deal with anyone he represents, which means Joe Crede is going to be gone by the end of the 2008 season at the latest one way or another. Later on, Kenny Williams said: “He is not on our list.”

Then who is? Are you going to bring back Aaron Rowand, or is he just going to turn into a former legend? Will you pony up the dough? What are doing with that money that was supposedly earmarked for Hunter and Cabrera? If that money isn’t going to go into Rowand, then who is it going to? Does JR have a secret plan to spend it on his other team, the Bulls and get Kobe? Doubt it.

Kosuke Fukudome anyone? Get out of here. Since when are the White Sox going to win a bidding war? He’s going to sign with the Cubs if it turns into a Cubs-Sox bidding war. What will the White Sox do then? Go and cry that the Cubs are turning into the Yankees and Red Sox? Hey, White Sox, it’s called big-market team. You got the money, spend the money. The Cubs are playing by the rules. There is nothing that says they can’t do what they’re doing. Why don’t you do it too? You guys got the money. Baseball is flush in cash. Start spending it. You aren’t a small-market team. You play in the nation’s 3rd biggest city. You put 3 million asses in the seats. Start acting like it.

The White Sox are in for a long, slow, painful re-building process. “We were embarrassed last year.”

Guess what, Ken? You’re going to be even more embarrassed in 2008.

Yards allowed per game: 355.9; league rank: 26th. Yards allowed per game rushing: 126.8; league rank: 27th. Yards allowed per game passing: 229.1; league rank: 25th. Points allowed per game: 22.8; league rank: 20th. Yards gained per game: 300.0; league rank: 23rd. Yards gained per game rushing: 85.3; league rank: 30th. What team putting up those atrocious numbers? The New York Jets? The St. Louis Rams? The inept Miami Dolphins? No, no and no.

It turns out those are the numbers of the greatest NFL team of all time, the sub-.500 Chicago Bears, a record that’s good for last place in the Norris Division of the Junior Varsity Conference known as the NFC North. What’s going on here? I thought the Bears were supposed to have the best defense ever assembled – one that was supposed to be better than the ‘85 team. I also thought that the Bears were supposed to have an explosive offense that would be led by the second coming of Joe Montana, all-world quarterback Wrecks the Wonder Bear Grossman.

What we have here is one of three things: false advertising, bad player evaluation or a GM on stupid pills. I’m going to go with that last one. That’s right folks: Bears GM Jerry Angelo is not the great GM y’all think he is. I don’t care that the team he built last year made it to the Super Bowl. Going to the Super Bowl (or winning it, for that matter) does not make you an automatic success nor does it give you a free pass to do whatever you want. He is a phony GM who got lucky. It’s time to fire Jerry Angelo.

Twelve games into the 2007 season, it is clear that this team is not built to be a playoff team. The poor play is not due to a Super Bowl loser’s curse. It is because this team has been poorly built on both sides of the ball, but more on the offense. Furthermore, two of this team’s wins have come due to the stupidity of the other team’s decision to kick the ball to Devin Hester.

I was led to believe that this team was really deep on defense. So deep, in fact, that Angelo traded away Chris Harris for a late-round draft pick. Chris Harris sure would look good in a Bears jersey right now, with injuries to Mike Brown, Nathan Vasher and Kevin Payne, the man who replaced Harris in college, which led Angelo to believing Harris was expendable. These injuries have forced the Bears to go out every game with a makeshift secondary that has played sloppy, missed tackles and allowed big plays.

What happened to that linebacker depth? I certainly didn’t see it when Lance Briggs was out. I thought the Bears were going to be ready if Briggs decided he didn’t want to crash into people the way he crashed his $350,000 Lamborghini.

The worst moves Angelo made, however were on the offensive side of the ball. He did nothing to address the aging offensive line, which has since lost Ruben Brown for the season. And what about the skilled players? I thought draft pick Greg Olsen was going to be the second coming of Mike Ditka. Reports from training camp said G-Reg’s play was as good as his rap. I haven’t seen that so far this season.

However, the worst of them all was the clump of lint Angelo received after trading away Thomas Jones, moving up 26 spots in the second round of the draft. Recently, Angelo said he was pleased with the 196-carry, 674-yard performance of Cedric Benson, good for 3.4 yards a carry. Uh, Jerry, how come you couldn’t wait to get rid of the Bears best running back since Walter Payton, yet the new Curtis Enis is suddenly an all-world force?

What this really is is Angelo’s ego talking. He took Benson with the fourth pick and paid him $16 million. He wants to see Benson play. It was not about not being able to pay Jones. Jones’ agent was on ESPN a few weeks ago and said the trade was made simply because Jones and Benson did not get along. He said the Bears had the money to pay them both but Angelo wanted to play Benson in the leading runner role and didn’t want Jones around. What kind of a reason is that to trade away someone because you don’t want him around?

It’s time to fire this moron and hire a competent GM who can actually turn the Bears into the Super Bowl contender Chicago knows they can be. Jerry Angelo must go!

With the losses of Mizzou and West Virginia last night, Ohio State is going to be playing for the national title, 3 weeks after our hopes seemed all but dashed after losing to the Illini. Right? WRONG!! It was all a conspiracy!! In this season of upsets, Ohio State just wanted to throw a little drama into the picture as well, and help increase the ratings. Thanks to our loss, LSU, Oregon, Kansas, Oklahoma, Mizzou, and West Virginia were all ranked ahead of Ohio State. We members of Buckeye Nation did not give up hope. Because we needed everyone ahead of us to lose for us to have a shot to play for the title, we watched them play with great interest. Doing so increased ratings. Had we gone undefeated, Buckeye Nation wouldn’t be watching these games because we’d know where we were playing. Ohio State was simply working with the networks to throw some spice into the picture and increase the TV ratings.