Back in June, the Cubs had a deal in place to deal the Frenchman, Jacque Jones. Doing so would require the Cubs picking up $6.6 million of the remaining $7.2 million on his deal. Contrary to popular belief, the dick of a commish did not nix the deal, but rather temporary owner Sam Zell. His reasoning: He didn’t want to add more debt to the new owners tab. When this happened, I said to myself, what idiocy. If Jones is with the team, he’ll be on the tab for $7.2M. Trading him away would have taken $600,000 off the tab. It had to be a conspiracy, as Zell is a part-owner of the White Sox. Well ever since that deal was nixed, the Frenchman has been an integral part of the Cubs playoff run. Mr. Zell, thank you for refusing to remove $600,000 from the new owners tab. It was the best decision you ever made

1. Sell the team to Mark Cuban
2. Fire Jim Hendry
3. Get Jake Peavy
4. Get Adam Dunn
5. Get A-Rod
6. Get K-Rod
7. Get Johan
8. Get Eric Gagne
9. Get Joe Nathan
10. Get rid of Jacque Jones
11. Get rid of Cliff Floyd
12. Don’t sign pitchers with Wood and Prior Syndrome
13. Take down the tag team known as Bud Selig and Jerry Reinsdorf

With these 13 moves, I SMELL WORLD DOMINATION!!!

Lineup:

1. TheRiot (2B)
2. Lee (1B)
3. A-Rod (SS)
4. Dunn (RF)
5. Ramirez (3B)
6. Pie (CF)
7. Soriano (LF)
8. Soto (C)
9. Pitcher

Rotation:
Z
Johan
Peavy
The King of the Hill
Smardzija

Pen:
K-Rod
Marmol
Marshall
Dempster
Nathan
Howry
Wuertz
Gagne

Can you say 162-0!!?? MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

54 HR. 156 RBI. .314 batting average. That’s the statline of Alex Rodriguez. He’s likely going to win another MVP. Pretty impressive statline huh? Well guess what? It’s not enough to earn him his stripes. Why? Because he hasn’t done this in October. Will the April-September A-Rod show up, or will the October A-Rod show up? Time will tell. Until the April-September A-Rod performs in October, he will never be a true Yankee. With the playoffs here, A-Rod needs to carry his regular season over to the post-season if he wants to earn his stripes as a Yankee.

Finally, Grossman is benched. One problem, the guy replacing him isn’t much better either. Griese is an old fart, and he sucks too. There’s a reason he’s been cut three times. HE SUCKS!! The answer is Kyle Orton!! Furthermore, Grossman was dropped to #2 on the depth chart. Grossman should be #3. HE FLAT OUT SUCKS!! Until Orton is the starter, I am not going to shave. I am going to grow a neckbeard as a tribute to Orton, until the Bears realize he is capable of starting the revolution.

Thirty-two of 57 for 305 yards, 56.1 completion percentage, one touchdown pass and three interceptions with a 55.1 passer rating. Who in the name of Cade McNown is putting up these audacious numbers for the Bears? Shane Matthews?

It turns out that happens to be the second coming of Joe Montana himself, all-world quarterback Rex, or should I say, Wreck ‘the Wonder Bear’ Grossman.

Just two games into the 2007 season, the Bad Rex soap opera has escalated.

The excuses we’ve heard for why the Bears keep playing Grossman are ridiculous. Grossman will never be a decent quarterback in the league. Why the Bears continue to play him despite his horrendous performances is beyond me. They don’t even pull him when he is having a signature bad game, saying they don’t want to rattle his confidence.

Hey Lovie, if you don’t want to rattle his confidence, why don’t you pull him with the understanding that he’ll be starting next Sunday? Baseball managers do it all the time when a starter has a bad outing. He gets pulled with the understanding he will make his next scheduled start.

Any other coach by now would have benched Rex. The Bears coaches may keep saying he can turn it around, he’ll find it, but it’s really not that simple.

It’s as if they are married to him and don’t care how he performs. Enough is enough and it’s time for a change. It’s time to bench Rex Grossman, and fire Ron Turner, too, for his horrible play calling. It may even be time to reconsider Lovie Smith’s status because of his comical commitment to Grossman. This is getting to the point where it is akin to Dusty Baker’s man-love for Neifi Perez.

The excuse that Grossman should be the quarterback as long as the Bears keep winning is ridiculous. So because the defense and Devin Hester are the ones determining the outcomes, Grossman should be behind center? Makes no sense. It’s like making someone’s punishment for a crime dependant on the outcome, and not the crime itself.

With the defense and special teams as dominant as they are, the Bears do not need their quarterback to be Joe Montana. At the same time, they don’t need their quarterback to play like all the quarterbacks we have had to endure the last 12 years.What the Bears need is a quarterback who can drive down the field, dink and dunk, manage the game, milk the clock, keep mistakes to a minimum, and not play like it’s a video game and just heave the ball every time like Grossman does. Rex has shown nothing to make fans believe that he will ever do that. Kyle Orton, however, has.

Brian Griese can manage games as well, but he may have carpal tunnel in his aging wrists after holding Grossman’s clipboard for too long. Orton showed enough in 2005 to make me believe he can manage games. Furthermore, he didn’t have the weapons that Grossman now has.

Since Orton last played, the defense has gotten better, and some fellow named Devin Hester has joined the team. Additionally, Bernard Berrian was not healthy until the end of 2005, the same time Grossman returned, and Muhsin Muhammad was dropping passes left and right, due to a hairline fracture in his hand.

The window of opportunity for winning a championship is slowly closing. When the goal is to win the Super Bowl, there is no regard for the future. The Bears have all the pieces in place. They just need a capable quarterback. Grossman is not the answer. Orton may be.

It’s time to bring in Orton and re-make the Bears into a Super Bowl-quality team.

“I’m not rooting for the Cubs because I’m a White Sox fan. I hope they don’t win.”

I opened my Sun-Times this morning, and read that from the Blizzard of Oz. Will he ever learn? After reading that, I’ve given up all hope. He continues to pick fights. Calls Magglio Ordonez a Venezuelan Motherfucker, calls Mariotti a piece of shit and a fucking fag, orders his pitchers to bean players, he trashes the Cubs when his team is in last place, he does it all. He does nothing to change the perception that the entire White Sox organization is nothing but anti-Cubs. He continues to show he is a loser. Fuck you for all eternity, Ozzie

With three weeks left in the regular season, the race for October baseball is in dead heat. As of Sept. 4, no one is running away with their division. Many would expect that the closest division race would come from the league’s strongest, the AL Central. This is not the case: ironically, it is coming from the league’s weakest division, the NL Central.

This division race is one of the weakest in recent history. It rivals only the NL West race in 2005, when the winner, the San Diego Padres won only 82 games, and last year’s NL Central race when the St. Louis Cardinals won 83.

Right now, the Central is a three-team race between the Chicago Cubs, the Milwaukee Brewers and the Cardinals. All three teams are hovering around the .500 mark. It seems likely that for the third year in a row, there will be a playoff team barely over .500. All of this is happening while there are teams that will end up with a better record than the winner but at the end of the season, they will be playing golf while inferior teams compete for a title they have no claim to.

This has happened to the Philadelphia Phillies the past two years, and is likely to happen to them again. Even if they manage to win the wild card, whoever finishes second in that series is going to have a better record than the NL Central winner. Three years in a row now, someone is going to get shafted, and miss out on the playoffs because they didn’t win their division or the wild card, despite the fact they have a better record than a team that makes the playoffs.

Especially if the Phillies are the team that gets shafted this year, MLB needs to sit down and re-work their playoff system. You’re probably asking why I’m writing this now and not in two to three weeks when the season is over or the race is decided. I’m doing so because in the event the Cubs miss the playoffs, I don’t want to sound like a whiner or a sore loser. This is about the principles.

MLB needs to re-work the system and make it so that the best four records in each league make the playoffs, regardless of division. I realize that the NBA and NFL have the system set up so that winning a division grants a free pass into the playoffs. However, while their systems have their flaws and have the potential to shaft someone, in my 10 years of following the leagues, not even once has a deserved team been shafted because of the system. In my 10 years of following MLB, though, there have been more than a handful of cases where someone has. There are too many to list here.

The whole concept that winning a division should be an automatic pass into the playoffs is a joke. It makes no sense at all. The way MLB’s playoff system works is the three division winners and the second place teams with the best records make the playoffs in each league. So if you don’t win your division and you don’t have the best 2nd-place record in your league, you go home, even if you have a better record than someone who makes the playoffs. Case in point: the Phillies.

What MLB should do is continue to allow division winners to sell hats and shirts and raise a banner and everything, but if they don’t have a top-four record, they shouldn’t be in the playoffs. The NL Central is a joke, and seeing the winner in the playoffs is going to be an embarrassing site, whether it be my beloved Cubbies, the Brewers or the hated Cardinals. Whoever wins the division should decline their spot in the playoffs and give it to whoever comes in second place in the wild card, especially if it is the Phillies.

The Bears started the 2007 in smashing fashion today, losing 14-3 to the Chargers. Along with Adrian Peterson, Cedric Benson, and Brendon McGowen, the culprit was the usual one. WRECKS the Wonder Bear Grossman. That’s right. HE’S AT IT AGAIN!! Just like we know that baseball season is under way when Wood and Prior are hurt, Grossman stinking up the joint tells us football has returned. And what a stinker it was. 12/23 for 145 yards, with 1 pick. Sorry, bud, but that won’t cut it.

Lovie: This has gone WAY too far. When will you accept the fact that Grossman will never be the answer? I’ve given up all hope of seeing Grossman get pulled for shit performance. With every game that passes, I feel more and more that the only way we’ll ever see Orton is if Grossman gets hurt. Because of you, WRECKS, we are in last place in the Norris. You cost us the Super Bowl, you cost us today. Stop wondering where Asante Samuel is. He doesn’t play for the Bears you dumbfuck. He is a defensive back for the Patriots.

Mitch Cozad, where are you? Maybe you can’t win the starting job stabbing your rival, but you could do the Bears a favor and knock out Grossman. Please? Someone please take out Grossman. Because the coaches won’t.

WE NEED TO FIRE THE LOVETRON!! HE IS THE WORST COACH WE’VE EVER HAD!! HE SUCKS!! HE CAN’T DO NOTHING RIGHT!! HE LOVES GROSSMAN FOR NO REASON!! ORTON IS WAY BETTER THAN GROSSMAN. GRIESE IS AN OLD FART AND HE WENT TO MICHIGAN!! FIRE LOVIE SMITH!!

Now that I have your attention, I wanted to lay down some rules for the 2007 Bears season.

For the 2007 season, do NOT bother me when the Bears game is on. That means: No calling my phone, no IM’ing me, no emailing me, no talking to me, no giving me hell on facebook for wanting Lovie Smith fired, no nothing. Do so, and you will regret it.

I have decided this year that the first bad game Grossman puts up, I’m starting the Orton calls. I don’t care what you people do, I have been ripped apart so much, that I don’t care anymore. I have also decided that instead of spewing all of my anger on facebook, I will spew it out during the game as well, which is why you will regret it if you say anything to me when the game is on.

Now that we’ve gotten that taken care of, let’s enjoy another season of football, go Bears, and here’s to Orton and his neckbeard coming in and starting the revolution!!

Last Friday, I was at the Cubs game. I saw more Hawkeye fans than I saw Cubs fans at the game. Not knowing why, I asked someone what was up with all the Hawkeye gear. He told me that they were going to be playing the Northern Illinois Huskies at Soldier Field on Saturday. I thought to myself, ok. That’s just dumb wearing your Hawkeye gear at a Cubs game. First of all, you should never cross sports gear and wear something from one team at another event, unless you’re in Chicago and going to the enemy ballpark and want to mask the fact you’re fan of the other team in town. Secondly, why would you wear your gear the day before the game and get it dirty? It makes no sense.

On to the game now. The Hawkeye fans were crazy the entire game. Starting up their gay LET’S GO HAWKS chants the entire game. Luckily, I was sitting next to an OSU fan so we started up on O-S-U chant. Of course, the gay Hawkeye drowned us out. On the train all weekend, Hawkeye fans kept gloating about how great they are. Get a grip Hawkeye fans: You guys aren’t that great. Your schedule is a joke. You miss BOTH Michigan and Ohio State. Quit acting like your program is so great, because guess what: It isn’t.

You fans act like us Ohio State fans. I got news for you: We can act that way b/c we are better than you. We may have gotten a beating from Florida, but hey, at least we made it to the title game. I never knew how bad Hawkeye fans were.